I'm participating in the 1st Campaigner Challenge. The assignment is as follows:
Write a short story/flash fiction story in 200 words or less, excluding the title. It can be in any format, including a poem. Begin the story with the words, “Shadows crept across the wall”. These five words will be included in the word count.
If you want to give yourself an added challenge (optional), do one or more of these:
- end the story with the words: "everything faded." (also included in the word count) (done)
- include the word "orange" in the story (done)
- write in the same genre you normally write (done - normally I write urban fanasy and paranormal romance)
- make your story 200 words exactly! (done)
The shadows crept across the wall as the orange disk of the sun dipped below the horizon. Soon the silver disk of the full moon would replace it and my world would change forever. I chose this. My heart drummed wildly in my chest as the exhilaration of what was to come sank into every cell of my fragile body. Standing on the balcony, I inhaled the salty air.
“It’s time,” Paul said quietly.
I nodded and he led me to an empty room, save for thin silver chains on the wall. Gently, like a lover, he shackled my hands and feet.
“If everything goes well, you won’t need these after tonight.” Unspoken remained what would happen if it did not go well. I didn’t care.
He sat on the floor by the wall opposite me and we waited.
The change came swift and sharp like a knife. My bones turned to liquid heat and I screamed. Minutes passed in welcome agony. Then it was over.
He knelt next to me. “You did it. You’re free.”
I smiled and laid down, my head resting on my paws. I was not dying. Now I could rest. For awhile, everything faded.Let me know what you think. It was hard cutting down to bring it to 200 words :) I'm #36 on the list if you'd like to vote for me.
Cool twist at the end. Great entry.
ReplyDeleteNice. Loved the dark fantasy vibe, Yelena! :D
ReplyDeleteOoh yes very nice twist!! I LOVED this line "My bones turned to liquid heat and I screamed."
ReplyDeleteGreat job!
I'm entry #19
Thank you all. Going to check out everyone's entry now :) I'm #38 on the list if you'd like to vote for the entry.
ReplyDeletePaws?! I'm guessing this person is a werewolf. Niiiice :-)
ReplyDeleteJust two things I'd change: "dip" to "dipped", and "full moon will" to "full moon would", just to match the rest of the past-tense.
I think the coolest part of this story was the line: "I chose this." Well done.
ReplyDeleteThanks Rachel! I actually started writing it in present tense and then switched to past. Thought I corrected everything, but apparently not. Corrected! :)
ReplyDeleteThanks Jamie.
This is very well done. I loved the tension and how I wasn't quite sure what was happening until it did. Great job! New follower and fellow campaigner.
ReplyDeleteNicely done! :D I actually did a flash fiction too. *blush*
ReplyDeleteCool. I'm lycan this story (pun intended). Nice one! :)
ReplyDeleteOo, twisty! I like it. :)
ReplyDeleteGreat twist, great action, and it leaves me wanting to know more about the characters. Nice!
ReplyDeleteExcellent!
ReplyDeleteThank you Tasha! Nice to meet you and I'm off to check out your blog!
ReplyDeleteTina, welcome to the world of flash fiction! lol
Thank you David, Carrie, Ann and Michael! I'm glad you liked the twist. I love writing flash with twists that come across but never know if I succeded :)
I was not expecting that! Great twist, great writing. Well done:)
ReplyDeleteLoved the 'paws' reference. Great way to tie things together. Good fantasy writing is always fun to read, and this was fun.
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed this. It was well written and the twist was great. :)
ReplyDeleteNice! I want to know what happens next.
ReplyDeleteI really liked this! Nice twist at the ending!
ReplyDeleteI'm #37
This is awesome! Love it!
ReplyDeleteVoted for you! Loved it.
ReplyDeleteNice job! I love shifters and weres.
ReplyDeleteGosh I just loved this! Reading Shiver right now...in that werewolf world :)
ReplyDeleteYou did fine with the 200 words. It doesn;t read as thought that was even a consideration. Nicely done. Mine is # 71
ReplyDeleteVery nice.I really like the ending.
ReplyDeleteLove the ending. Great job.
ReplyDeleteFun! Great job!
ReplyDeleteThanks everyone! I really appreciate your comments!
ReplyDeleteLori Ann, thank you for voting for my entry :)
I should have guessed that she would be a werewolf with the full moon reference, but didn't. Really nicely done, tense and strangely romantic too.
ReplyDeleteNick, thank you :)
ReplyDeleteI wasn't sure what to expect, but it sure wasn't that! Twisty and fun! I'm a new follower and entry #96.
ReplyDeleteThanks you Traci.
ReplyDeleteNancy, thank you for following and going to check out your entry now!
Loved the dramatic ending, very well done!
ReplyDelete